NEW FORMAT

THIS BLOG HAS BEEN CHANGED DUE TO A MISTAKE ON MY PART. IF YOU HAVE COME HERE LOOKING FOR TROUBLE, YOU WILL NOT FIND IT.

Deuteronomy

This is very interesting...Here is the whole of Deuteronomy 22: 5-12 (NIV). Should 5 even be taken seriously when grouped with the others?

(5) A woman must not wear men's clothing, nor a man wear women's clothing, for the LORD your God detests anyone who does this.

(6) If you come across a bird's nest beside the road, either in a tree or on the ground, and the mother is sitting on the young or on the eggs, do not take the mother with the young.

(7) You may take the young, but be sure to let the mother go, so that all may go well with you and you may have a long life.

(8) When you build a new house, make a parapet around your roof so that you may not bring the guilt of bloodshed on your house if someone falls from the roof.

(9) Do not plant two kinds of seed in your vineyard; if you do, not only the crops you plant but also the fruit of the vineyard will be defiled.

(10) Do not plow with an ox and a donkey yoked together.

(11) Do not wear clothes of wool and linen woven together.

(12) Make tassels on the four corners of the cloak you wear.

So, I better not go to the store and buy chicken and eggs together....plant tomatoes and spinach in a garden which I should not plow with a donkey and an ox...and oh yea...I shouldn't wear pants.

Don't forget!!!

yucky

Feelin' kinda yucky right now. I guess I am spoiled bc I thought that I was doing really well at my painting, but this other person won for best painter and first place at the show. They just do nude figures and that's all....no imagination...just techique. I guess that's what people like around here.
I guess when you go a while without being appreciated by your peers for your art it gets to you. I guess its only natural to be envious of others that have things come to them so easily. I'll get over it, but for now I'm wallowing in self pity lol

hmmmm...

People don't seem to really like my paintings this year, which makes me doubt myself. I know that you shouldn't let that bother you, but unfortunately, it does.
It is a bit of a blow to my belief that good art includes some imagination.
There's a show here at TU that sort of validate your time here, if you get in, and two of my pieces that are small and I do not care about got in, but everything else was rejected.
I have to get used to rejection, but when I see what else was rejected and what got in, it really makes me question what I am doing with my art.
Its so hard to vent without sounding like a brat or stuck up!!!
I guess that is the way of the world. There's always someone better than you.
OK, thanks for letting me vent!

Being Held Back By My Ratty Ol' Brain

I am teaching myself to not envy what others have. Mostly in their ability to handle change such as moving away, losing friends, changing environments (ie graduating college), starting a new job; all these things terrify me. I need to come to terms with the fact that its just going to be harder for me. I guess I just don't like the thought of others thinking that I am not ambicious or talented enough to move to New York or somewhere of that nature. The thought of moving away from my family, friends and my familiar environment frightens me to the point of numbness. I know that I would eventually get used to it, but I do not want to have to go through it. So, I come up with various reasons to stay where I am: I like the ppl here, there's a small, tight-nit art community I would enjoy contributing to the growth of, Tulsa really isn't a bad place to live...plus it isn't in the cards to move now that I am married. Kris does not want to move, and who says I have to just to be an artist? "I can make it work" is what I tell myself.
My main reason for wanting to move someday though is that I love cold weather (I know I know...weird me). I want to move somewhere that never gets above 65 degrees...I really dislike Oklahoma summers...

Anyway, I probably need to get out and help others, I think that will help me build much-needed self-confidence. To stop worrying about myself and if others perceive me as dumb or stupid because of the way I am.
Anyway, here are some symptoms of Asperger's. For my own benefit, I highlighted parts in yellow that sound exactly like me, parts in blue that somewhat sound like me (in a way), and other parts in red that do not sound like me. If this sound like you, seek a professional. Also, if you would like some advice on how to stop being envious, here is a link: http://briankim.net/blog/2006/10/how-to-stop-being-envious-of-others/

Impaired Language Skills
Impaired language skills is a common symptom of AS in adults. These individuals can have difficulties with verbal reasoning and problem solving. They may only think in concrete and literal terms, and have a hard time thinking abstractly or hypothetically. An adult with Asperger's syndrome often uses language as a way to relay facts, information and statistics, and not as a way to talk about feelings, beliefs or emotions. Adults with AS tend to sound robotic, scripted or monotone when speaking. They often talk abnormally fast, and repeat words and sentences multiple times. Adults with Asperger's syndrome may have trouble controlling the tone or volume of their voices. An example would be an individual who speaks too loudly during a movie, unaware that it is disturbing to other people.

Inability to Empathize

A common symptom of Asperger's syndrome in adults is the inability to empathize with others, according to the Mayo Clinic. Adults with AS tend to lack sympathy and compassion for other people. They are often unable to interpret facial expressions, gestures, intentions or emotions, which causes them to appear rude, egotistical, selfish and insensitive to others. Adults with Asperger's syndrome may have a hard time looking at things from a different perspective because they do not understand what someone else is thinking or feeling. An example of the inability to empathize would be an individual who tells someone to quit whining about the loss of a family pet.

Resistance to Change

Resistance to change is another symptom of Asperger's syndrome in adults, according to the Asperger's Association of New England. Adults with AS usually prefer routines and schedules. Changes in schedules, routines and/or rituals can cause them anxiety and stress. Familiar objects and settings often provide a feeling of safety for AS sufferers. An example of resistance to change would be an individual who becomes extremely agitated when his manager changes his job responsibilities at work.

Impaired Social Skills

Adults with AS have impaired social skills, according to the Adult Asperger's Association. They can have a hard time making friends and interacting with people in social settings. Adults with Asperger's syndrome may appear awkward, quirky and out of place at social gatherings. They may engage in lengthy conversations unaware that the person to whom they are speaking is trying to change the subject or exit the conversation. These individuals tend to talk at people instead of talking to people. Many times adults with Asperger's syndrome will make inappropriate comments because they are unable to understand voice tone, facial expressions and body gestures. Adults with AS often have a hard time "reading" people and understanding humor. They may not know the right thing to say or the correct way to behave, and may unintentionally upset the people around them. An example of impaired social skills would be an individual who says something insensitive about a co-workers weight in the middle of an office party.

Inability to Control Feelings

Adults with Asperger's syndrome have problems controlling their feelings, according to Joy de Vries, R.N. and webmaster of the website Asperger Advice. They tend to get angry, depressed and overwhelmed easily. Changes in routines, the inability to communicate with people, and feelings of isolation can cause extreme anxiety and low self-esteem in adults with Asperger's syndrome. In addition, certain sights, sounds, tastes, smells and textures can cause intense reactions in these individuals. An example of the inability to control feelings would be an individual who becomes hysterical when he hears dogs barking. Another example is when an individual becomes so angry that his favorite television show was canceled that he throws the television out of the window.

Intense Specialized Interests

According to the Better Health Channel, adults with Asperger's syndrome tend to have very intense time-consuming specialized interests. These individuals usually become experts in one or two areas and excel in their chosen careers because they choose jobs that best fit their interests. They are often referred to as eccentric, which sometimes causes social isolation. An example of an intense specialized interest would be someone who spends long amounts of time studying science and statistics, but has little interest in anything else.

Challenges with Higher Level Thinking

The Asperger's Association of New England states that adults with Asperger's syndrome tend to have challenges with higher level thinking. They have a hard time following a task or activity from the beginning to the completion. Adults with AS often do not know how to successfully organize, initiate, analyze, prioritize and complete tasks. These individuals are unable to think ahead to the possible end result. They focus on details and find it challenging to look at the big picture. An example of challenges with higher level thinking would be an individual who is unable to envision what he will be doing ten years from now.

Problems with Non-Verbal Communication

Adults with Asperger's syndrome may have problems with non-verbal communication, according to the National Institute of Neurobiological Disorders and Stroke. They display awkward body gestures, inappropriate facial expressions and/or an odd stiff gaze. They rarely look people in the eye and do not display any form of joy such as smiling, winking or hugging. An example would be someone who appears lifeless when greeting a relative.

Read more: http://www.livestrong.com/article/126433-aspergers-symptoms-adults/#ixzz1HOa809QZ

Gettin' All Riled Up

I read some comments on a video about trans people and it upset me so much. I shouldn't let it do that, because you really can't change ppl's opinion unless it directly effects them, but that's just it: IT DOES NOT DIRECTLY EFFECT THEM!!!!
Why contribute to the hate just so you can continue to be afraid of what you don't understand?
I guess it just baffles me bc in my own little world, the "taboo" subjects in society don't seem to really effect me that much; as long as you're not hurting anyone, then so what?
There is so much miscomunication and misunderstanding in the world, I wonder how we have continued to survive. How have we not all killed each other by now? LOL
Anyway, for those who accept and keep an open mind, I commend you! The world is a better place because people like you are in it. Keep on keepin' on.

MY ART SHOW!!!!

Our Wedding Video

Humor me and give these a watch...they're not very long and if you love Paul or the Beatles, some great music is playing! Enjoy!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1G4S3IMF8j0

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eTpavO2IF74

C'mon Get Happy!

We all have particular things we do, watch, eat, whatever that makes us happy. Things we run to when the dark clouds start to loom. Here's some things that make me happy. Never hurts to share my joy :)

Kris.











My puppy Gonzo.

Family.














Painting.

The Beatles.

Paul and Linda McCartney

Tim and Eric Awesome Show Great Job!

Living Arts of Tulsa New Genre Fest

PLEASE come and check this out...its going to be amazing!
http://www.livingarts.org/newgenre2011/ng18.html

Jesus is a Jerk

I think he has a sense of humor...if he doesn't, I will be sorely disappointed...

Spread the Word About My Etsy Store!!!

Check out my Etsy store! I've got necklaces, shirts, cards, invitations, and lots more. I have included my first Transgender Awareness T-shirt as well. Here is a link to my store:

Lady Madonna's Ends Meet on Etsy.com 

and here is a link to the Transgender shirt:
http://www.etsy.com/listing/67395215/transgender-awareness-shirt 

 

Mr. Lucky Duck and Friends

My YouTube Videos

Here's some videos I made a while back:

 

 

Dream Log

 Don't read this is you are squeamish...
Now don't judge me when I describe this...but I had a weird but awesome dream last night.
I was in my graveyard that I visit sometimes in my dreams. It is in the middle of this old neighborhood my Aunt Patty and Uncle Jon used to live in Kansas City. All The gravestones are old and interesting and some have that tiny iron fencing around them and some are crumbling above ground cement enclosures. I have to admit that I love graveyards...I'm not some Emo goth person, but I love looking at the names and dates...I have this affinaty for the past.
Anyway, the next part gets really, really freaky, at least for those who might be reading this...
I see that the ground is caving in around a grave...I look down in it and there is a coffin that reminds me of this jewelery box my grandma gave me; its a sort of 70's-ish, eggshell white, gold trimmed box, something you'd find in an antique  store around where I live. The coffin is open and the half-decomposed corpse of an old woman is sticking out...its not a gross kind of decomposition (if that kind even exists)...but you could tell she was buried for a while. Her face looked like it was hallow or warped...no features. For some reason I got her and the coffin up out of the ground and brought her to the person who runs the graveyard so they could re-bury her...
I know it is extremely weird, but I always have dreams about seeing dead bodies...and they are never gross or bloody, but not quite mummified and not freshly dead. Or, even being in a graveyard and seeing crumbling graves and I always really want to see inside. Curiosity? I suppose.
My first dream like that I will always remember. I went down into a crypt like the one in Claremore in the Will Rogers museum...and there on a slab was Harpo Marx and there were candles. It was very weird. But I loved the dream and I love all these dreams...the feeling I get from them is so interesting. I know I am sounding soooo weird and crazy right now. I mean, I even love going to Rose Hill cemetary here in Tulsa at Admiral and Yale. I have several relatives buried there and my mom and I would go there every year to decorate their graves. I always loved that.

the Autism Spectrum

I found this website the gives great info on the Autism Spectrum:
http://www.pediatricneurology.com/autism.htm

Here's a little from the site:

The Skills Involved in Communication

In order for us to effectively communicate, we need skill in multiple areas, including (A) verbal and  (B) non-verbal arenas.

(A) Verbal/Spoken Communication Skills (may or may not be affected in ASD)

Semantic language: The ability to use and understand words, phrases and sentences; including abstract concepts and idioms. Aspects of semantic language include: Receptive verbal language: The ability to understand spoken words and ideas. Central Auditory Processing (CAP): A mixed group of abilities needed to process and derive meaning from sounds and words; including the abilities to distinguish between similar sounds, and to pick out the main voice from background. In short,“what we do with what we hear.” Expressive verbal language: The ability to express our ideas with spoken words. Articulation: The ability to speak each word clearly.

(B) Non-Verbal/Non-Spoken Communication Skills (Problematic in ASD)

Urge to initiate shared social interaction and two-way communication: Theory of Mind.

The ability to socialize/relate/empathize requires a working “Theory of Mind.” Theory of mind refers to the relatively unique ability of humans to understand: (1)that I have a mind, (2) that you have a mind; and most importantly, (3) that our minds may not know or be feeling the same things.  Without a theory of mind, there is little point in communicating. After all, who would you be communicating to? There is limited ability to truly recognize that there is another human being in the room. It will be difficult to feel the need to communicate with anyone else. It may seem as if there is a plane of glass between the child and others. Eye contact will be poor.

With limited ability to “get inside your mind,” it will be frequently difficult for the child to demonstrate empathy for what you are feeling. For example, a child with theory of mind problems may assume that since he is happy, then you must be happy; or the child may not understand that someone else is deceptive when his own mind always attempts honesty. 

Thus, the ability to recognize that you have a mind, the ability to relate to that mind, and the ability to empathize with that mind are all parts of the same skill. It is felt that theory of mind problems underlie many of the difficulties seen in the Autistic Spectrum Disorders.

Closely related to the “interest” in social communication (that arises from a working theory of mind) are the following skills.  They are required to actually achieve the meaningful interaction.  Certainly, if you don’t have these skills, your ability to appear interested in social interaction may become blunted.

	Pragmatic language: The practical ability to use language in a social setting, such as knowing what is appropriate to say, where and when to say it; and the give and take nature of conversation. Effective pragmatics requires a working theory of mind:  the ability to figure out what the other person does or does not already know—or might or might not be interested in hearing about. Examples of pragmatic language/theory of mind problems would be: A new student moves into the school district and enters the classroom for the first time. The teacher asks him where he comes from. The Autistic Spectrum child responds: “From the hallway.” As an Asperger’s child walks into the office, the doctor notices that her pink shirt matches the color of her jacket. He jokes, “If you change into a green shirt, does the color of the jacket change, too?” The child responds: “My wardrobe includes a turquoise shirt, not a green one.” This child’s spoken language is precise, but she misses (1) the actual meaning of the question; and more importantly, (2) misses that the whole purpose of this conversation was just a little fun chit-chat to initiate an interaction.
	The skill to know what is—and what is not—important Ability to see the big picture rather than fixate on details. Ability to maintain a full range of interests.
	Symbolic play skills Give a child a yellow box on wheels, with thin long black strips on it. The ability to understand that this object actually represents a school bus is a type of communication—just like the ability to recognize that the letters “C-A-T” stand for a furry animal. Both involve the use of symbols rather than the actual object to communicate. By 18 months, most toddlers start to use objects as symbols for something else. For example, a cup is for drinking, but it also makes quite a handy telephone. By 3 years of age, most children are quite good at “let’s pretend” activities, such as “You be the cowboy!” The toy school bus is not fascinating because the cold metal box can move, but because little toy figures chat while getting on it as they go to school. Stuffed animals are not just warm rags of cloth to drag around, but living creatures that have feelings and needs. So, by 18-36 months of age, typical children make continuous progress in the skill of appreciating the representational meaning of a toy, rather than focusing on its straight forward visual attributes.  Failure to develop representational/symbolic/pretend play is a strong marker of the Autistic Spectrum Disorders. After all, if you cannot understand that a physical toy bus represents a real truck, how could you understand that the even more purely representational sound “bus” represents a real truck.
	Non-verbal (non-spoken) transmission of language. The simple sounds are not the only thing my body sends through space when it attempts to communicate with you. It also transmits: Facial expressions Body language Tone and prosidy of voice

·        Associated skills sometimes also involved with language problems:

o       Motor (muscle) coordination, including both gross and fine motor.

o       Spatial orientation.

o       Overall cognition.

Secondary Problems Resulting from Failure to Understand

If the child does not understand what is going on around her—especially if pragmatic/socialization cues are difficult—secondary problems usually occur in the Autistic Spectrum Disorders. The child will frequently appear:

·        Anxious, since she doesn’t know where the next blunder will come from.

·        Insistent on sameness and showing ritualistic behavior.  Change means that previously hard-learned strategies will not help in this situation.  These kids are barely hanging on. One new wrinkle can throw them over the edge. For example, Jill may know how to unpack her lunch from her backpack each day; but, what happens if the lunch is missing. Now what do she do?

·        Inattentive, since it’s hard to pay attention to something you don’t understand.

·        Rude-appearing, since she doesn’t understand rules of conversation such as waiting your turn.

·        Interested in objects rather than people. After all, objects are more predictable.

·        “Hanging back” from peers, for all of the above reasons, and from simply not knowing how to make conversation and relate.

·        “Out of it” and “odd” looking.

 

Categories of Communication Disorders

When a child has difficulties in these areas out of proportion to his/her general cognitive abilities, he/she can be considered to have a communication disorder.

Difficulties in the above skills can group together in varying combinations and severities, allowing for the naming of several communication disorder syndromes. As we shall see, these disorders overlap greatly. They may also co-exist as “co-morbid” conditions, may lead to each other, and some may even be duplicates of the same condition but approached by different specialties. Additionally, as children develop, their symptoms and most appropriate diagnostic classification might change. The human brain is not so simple that its disorders fit into neat, static categories. Nonetheless, we still attempt to find certain patterns.  Unless we know about the range of syndromes, we will fail to look for important symptoms that need to be addressed.  These disorders are (over) simplified in Table 1 below.

Disorders of the communication skills are grouped into two major types of “disorders.”

(A) Typical language-based learning disorders are due to problems in the purely spoken/written language communication skills. These include Expressive, Receptive, Processing, and Articulation Language Disorders. Most routine speech and language evaluations examine these areas.  Note that routine psychological testing (such as the WISC- “IQ”) examines areas of cognition (thinking), rather than language per se.

(B) Autistic Spectrum Disorders (ASD) are those that include non-spoken communication problems—in particular, problems with socialization/empathy. In other words, the Autistic Spectrum Disorders all share trouble with theory of mind, socialization, the pragmatics of language, and  representational play.   They may occur with or without additional verbal speech problems.

In turn, the Autistic Spectrum Disorders are written about in two groupings. These are summarized in the two charts below, and then are discussed in more detail.

(1) The Pervasive Developmental Disorders (PDD), defined in DSM-IV by the American Psychiatry Academy. These are a series of five diagnoses--of which autism is the most commonly discussed. “Pervasive” means that the problem cuts across multiple types of communication.  These five disorders are:

Autistic Disorder	Severely disordered verbal and non-verbal language; unusual behaviors.
Asperger’s Syndrome	Relatively good verbal language, with “milder” non-verbal language problems; restricted range of interests and relatedness.
PDD-NOS	Non-verbal language problems not meeting strict criteria for other PDD disorders.
Rett’s Disorder*	Rare neurodegenerative disorder of girls.
Childhood Disintegrative Disorder*	Neurologists are scratching their head on this one, and assume psychiatrists mean neurodegenerative disorders.

*In common practice, the diseases of Rett’s Disorder, and Childhood Disintegrative Disorder are considered medical disorders and are not usually considered part of the “Autistic Spectrum Disorders.”

(2) Other Autistic Spectrum Disorders

Meanwhile, the rest of the world has extended the spectrum beyond those conditions discussed in DSM-IV to include other “Autistic Spectrum Disorders.” These are:

Semantic Pragmatic Communication Disorder	Delay and trouble with the use of language (both semantic and pragmatic), but socialization relatively spared.
Non-Verbal Learning Disabilities	Trouble integrating information in 3 areas: non-verbal difficulties causing the child to miss the major gestalt in language; spatial perception problems; and motoric coordination problems.
High Functioning Autism	For some authors, synonymous with Asperger’s; for others, implies milder autism without retardation.
Hyperlexia	Most notable for incredible rote reading skills starting at an early age.
Some aspects of ADHD	Impulse and control difficulties in ADHD may lead to trouble showing their empathy.